


Hush

by wishiwerebella



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:26:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6090001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishiwerebella/pseuds/wishiwerebella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by a fan art by tumblr user @bbqfish- Bucky asks Loki to help him remember what Hydra made him forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hush

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hush. It will be done soon. I told you this was going to hurt. It always hurts like hell when you see the truth.](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/177829) by bbqfish. 



> This was originally posted on tumblr. I've done some slight editing for wording/errors.

Inspired by this fan art by @[bbqfish](http://bbqfish.tumblr.com/post/84588556355):

Bucky and Loki had bonded from their first days in Avengers Tower. Both were former “villains” for the horrible things they had done while under another’s control. Both were struggling to find their place in a world of “heroes” while trying to make restitution for what they’d done. And both were deeply loved by one of the Avengers. 

Of course the other Avengers tried to include them in things; house meetings, movie nights, and group sparring sessions. The pair bonded quickly over their shared out-fastness and, whether deliberately or not, the two men found themselves on the outside of the tightly knit Avengers group, together, more often than not. The days when everyone was busy- Tony with Stark Industries, Clint, Natasha and Steve with SHIELD briefings and strategy meetings, Bruce buried in some lab project, and Thor visiting Jane, left the two in peace and feeling less ostracized. They’d share stories of their loved ones’ pasts, laughing over how each had saved their beloved’s ass from some foolishness time and time again. Some days they’d even talk about what had happened to them in what they liked to call their “dark” periods. 

Loki, being a god, retained the memory of every torture, every struggle against the manipulation he hated so much. Bucky didn’t have the same capacity for memory of his dark times and sometimes it bothered him that while he and Loki shared so much in common, this was an area where he couldn’t match up. They talked over many long hours about which of them was better off, the one who remembered every atrocity with perfect clarity but also recalled his own struggle against it, and thus felt some absolution, or the one who remembered close to nothing, who had all his choice and fight taken from him in the worst way imaginable. The pair were always careful to keep these conversations private.

It was the days when everyone was at home and wanting to spend time together as a group that were the most difficult for the duo of misfits. On a lazy Saturday around the tower the team had once again decided it was a good day for group training followed by classic move night. Bucky excused himself early on, giving an excuse about not having slept well the night before and wanting to get in a few extra hours of sack time. Loki simply blew them off, saying he wasn’t interested in playing these stupid games today and followed Barnes out of the gym. He followed Bucky to his room without a word between them, knowing that the super soldier was aware of his presence behind him and would say something if he wished him gone.

“What is troubling you today, James?” Loki inquired with concern after the door shut behind him.

“I want to know…” Bucky started and stopped abruptly, sitting on the edge of his bed and holding his head in his hands. Was he making the right decision if it was this difficult even to say? He took a deep breath. Loki stood patiently just inside the room, giving the soldier space but making it clear that he was there in support. “I want my memories back. All of them. You said that you could do that.” Bucky looked up at Loki with bright, pained eyes.

“I can,” Loki responded trepidatiously. They’d breached this subject several times over the past week, and neither had been confident this was the best option for the wounded soldier. “If you are certain this is what you want, I can give you back your memories in full, but it will not be a pleasant experience.” Loki stepped forward now and besides Bucky on the bed.

“I’m certain,” Bucky answered, his jaw set and his certainty clear in his eyes now. Loki hesitated; he raised his hands to James’ temples slowly, giving the man one last chance to back out. Smoky tendrils of green light flowed from Loki’s fingertips to Bucky’s head as the two men locked gazes. Loki’s face screwed up in concentration and effort as he focused his magic on the parts of James’ memory that had been tampered with by Hydra. Bucky’s calm, determined expression slipped slowly from his face, morphing first into sadness and then agony as he began to remember. Tears fell steadily from his eyes and he bit his lip to hold in the sob threatening to escape. At last it was too much and Bucky cried out. 

_“Hush. It will be done soon. I told you this was going to hurt.  It always hurts like hell when you see the truth.”_ Loki pulled his hands free of the magic, holding James to his chest while he wailed. Bucky gripped Loki’s arms in support. They stayed like that for a very long while, until Bucky’s sobs subsided.

“Thank you,” Bucky sighed, finally able to find words. A relieved smile crept to Loki’s lips.

“You’re welcome,” the god answered, still not releasing his hold on James, though loosening it a bit. The two laid back on the bed and let emotional and physical exhaustion take over. They’d have plenty of conversations in the future to work through all that Bucky had just learned. For now, it was time to rest.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Seen a fan art you are dying to see fic'd? Send it to me! I love the inspiration!


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